Thursdays (The Wait Book 1) Page 9

  I’d gone to see Sonya after work then gone home to change, finding I was pretty pumped about this Cider Fest thing.

  It wasn’t that I wanted to see Birdie, although I found myself liking that part of it. No, it was that I’d found someone who understood me. I’d gotten mad last night and said some pretty shitty things, but she’d let me vent and afterward had totally gotten where I was coming from.

  I stood by the window inside the shop drinking from my cup, another on the table as well as a tray of various cheeses and fruits, as I waited for Birdie to show. Upon seeing her embark from a cab, I still wondered what kind of fuck-up her husband was. She was stunning. Her long, brown hair cascaded down from under a caramel colored newsboy cap that matched the short leather jacket she was wearing. I saw she had a cream top on underneath and the tight jeans she wore were tucked into caramel leather boots. Damn.

  She looked lost until I tapped on the glass then she’d turned her gorgeous smile on me.

  Seriously. Damn. What the hell had Mason been thinking?

  “Hey!” she said when she made her way through the crowd to the table.

  “You look great,” I declared, handing her the cup.

  She smiled huge again before taking a drink. “Thanks. You do too.”

  I looked down at my own dark leather jacket that covered an untucked plaid shirt over jeans and boots and admitted, “I do look pretty good, huh?”

  She threw her head back and laughed making me chuckle. “You do.” She picked up a piece of cheese and took a bite and as she chewed, she closed her eyes and murmured, “Mm. This is good.”

  Fuck.

  That was hot.

  I watched her lick her red lips, her pink tongue smoothing over those perfect lips.

  Christ.

  It was then I wondered if I was making a mistake being here with her. I was married. And even though I’d contemplated divorce, the fact was…I was still fucking married. Jesus.

  “Have you tried this?” Birdie asked bringing me out of my thoughts.

  I raised my eyebrows. “No,” I replied, taking the piece she was holding out to me. “Damn. That is good!”

  Okay. We were fine. This would go nowhere other than our being friends. That was all.

  By eleven, we’d hit several other bars and shops, testing their cheeses but mostly their ciders. We’d planned to go to another, but in the cab on the way there, Birdie had turned to me, her head wobbling a little and I’d laughed.

  “Think I’m about done,” she’d announced with a semi-drunken giggle. “I’m tired and tipsy. I’m two T’s!”

  I snorted. I was feeling pretty good myself, and I knew her smaller frame hadn’t handled the alcohol as well as mine. “Yeah. I think you are about done, honey.”

  She looked up at me with big, brown eyes. “Do you call everyone honey?”

  I hadn’t realized I’d been doing so. I jerked my head back in surprise. “I guess so. But only people I like.”

  “You like me…” she murmured with a smile then leaned her head against my shoulder.

  God help me, but I wanted to kiss her so fucking bad right then.

  You’re married, idiot. Get a goddamned grip.

  “Birdie, what’s your address?” I asked, nudging her a little with my shoulder. She mumbled it and I gave it to the cabbie.

  Walking her inside her apartment building, I put my arm around her shoulders keeping her steady.

  “I’m really not drunk, Beck,” she admitted. “Mostly just tired.”

  She’d told me about talking to Mason again just that morning and I knew it was all wearing her down. When she said she’d even thought of being a part of his child’s life, my admiration for her had gone over the top. For her to even consider it was an amazing gesture in my opinion.

  “I know, honey,” I said as we got in the elevator. “What floor?”

  “Five,” she replied with a sleepy sigh.

  She was still leaning on me a bit and I liked it. She’d been there for me, listening to me bitching about everything going on in my life, so it was the least I could do. Tonight, after she’d told me about Mason, we’d talked a little about Sonya and how I didn’t know if I could stay with her, but we hadn’t gotten too deep into it. No, mostly we’d just enjoyed each other’s company.

  “This is me,” she said stopping in front of an apartment. Looking up, she said, “Thank you, Beck. I had a lot of fun.”

  I found myself staring down at her, not really wanting to leave but knowing I should. And that’s when she tiptoed up and kissed me. I was too shocked to even move and just stood there like an idiot.

  “Oh, God! I’m sorry!” she blurted when she realized what she’d done. “What was I thinking?” She turned and quickly put her key into the lock, opened the door, looked back at me and repeated, “Sorry!” right before slamming it in my face.

  I stood there a moment, eyes on her door still stunned, then giving a quick head shake, turned to go to the elevator. As I waited I started to feel bad knowing I couldn’t let our night end that way, so I went back to check on her. “Birdie?” I called after knocking.

  “Go away! I’m sorry!”

  Wait. Was she crying? “Open the door, Birdie!”

  “No! Go!”

  “Open the goddamned door, Birdie,” I insisted.

  I heard the locks click then she stood there, jacket and hat now off, her hair a wild mess, a huge scowl on her tear-covered face as she scolded, “You don’t have to use that kind of language, Beck!”

  Shit. How fucking cute was that?

  Before I knew it, I’d forced my way into her apartment, closed the door behind me then pushed her back against it, and smashing my mouth to hers, took everything I could from that kiss.

  Her arms came up to wrap around my neck, her fingers locking into the hair at the back of my neck, as our tongues twisted hungrily together. And I’ll be damned if she didn’t mold right into my body perfectly. When I felt my cock get hard, a deep, yearning groan emanated from my throat.

  Fuck!

  But at her answering moan, the kiss only got deeper. My hands slid down to grab her ass and I jerked her hard against me letting her feel what this was doing to me. What she was doing to me.

  My lips moved to where her shoulder and neck met and giving her a horse bite, I murmured, “Wanna fuck you, Birdie.”

  At her breathy, “Yes,” I went out of my mind with want and need. My lips slammed down on hers again as I snaked a hand up under her shirt, grabbing her breast and swiping my thumb across her hard nipple making her cry out.

  And it was then I knew we had to stop.

  Christ.

  Hand to the wall above her head and forcing myself to pull back, my other hand slipping out from under her shirt, I looked down at her, both of us breathing hard, and, my God, she was beautiful.

  I wanted her.

  Wanted her so goddamned badly.

  “It’s all I can do to keep from throwing your ass over my shoulder, carrying you to your bedroom and fucking you so hard, you’ll feel me for a week,” I ground out gruffly.

  Seeing her eyes get big, I bent down and quickly touched my lips to hers before grating out, “Good night, Birdie.”

  I then made my way to the door and out making sure it was locked. I next caught the elevator, hailed a cab, and back at my apartment, jacked off, coming so hard to thoughts of her, I roared out a “Fuck!” that probably woke the neighbors.

  Chapter 19—Birdie

  When I awoke the next morning, I stretched like a cat feeling better than I had in a long time. I even let out a little purr of satisfaction before opening my eyes, ready to face the day.

  Then it hit me as to why I felt so awesome.

  I’d kissed Beck and he’d been shocked.

  Making matters worse, he’d come back and we’d made out hardcore. And if he hadn’t stopped us, I’m pretty sure we would’ve slept together.

  “Oh, my God,” I muttered as I got out of bed and walked into the kitc
hen. Pulling a water bottle from the fridge, I opened it and sucked half of it down then saw from the clock on the stovetop that it was almost eight. “Oh, my God!”

  I was supposed to meet Jaden at nine at one of the homes she’d decorated. I grabbed my jacket from the back of the kitchen chair and pulled my cellphone from the pocket.

  Text Message—Sat, Oct 22, 7:14 a.m.

  Beck: Hey

  “Oh, my God!” I murmured, sitting down in the chair and staring at the text on the home screen of my phone. Then I unlocked the damned thing and called Jaden. Upon her answering, I stood and headed back to my bedroom. “I’m running late! But I’ll be there as soon as I can!” I blurted as I pulled clean panties and a bra from my drawer.

  She chuckled. “It’s okay, Bird. It lasts until noon.”

  “Oh, thank God.” I sure was dealing with the almighty a lot this morning. Jeez.

  “Yep. I’ve picked up three possible clients already, though! This is so exciting!”

  “That’s awesome! I’m so proud of you!” I was in the bathroom brushing my teeth now, so that came out more, “At’s aw-ohm! I oh prow o’ ew!” but whatever.

  She laughed. “Thanks. I’ll see you in a bit!”

  “Text me the address again, okay?” I instructed as I wiped toothpaste from my mouth. “Jumping in the shower! See you soon!”

  I stripped, got in the shower and turning it on, squealed a bit as I let the cold water spray me a little as punishment for kissing Beck to begin with. As I quickly washed, a sadness came over me, thinking I’d ruined a good friendship.

  “You did what?” Jaden asked over lunch.

  Taking a bite of my prosciutto panini, I moaned. “God. This is delicious.” I chewed, swallowed then took a drink of my iced chai, inwardly rolling my eyes at myself at avoiding her question. When the silence was too much to take, I looked at her. “You heard me.”

  “Yeah. I did. Explain, please.”

  So I did. I’d told her about Beck after the first time he and I’d gotten coffee and pie, making sure to let her know we were just friends. But last night had definitely thrown a wrench in the works.

  After, she sat looking at me for so long I asked, “What?”

  She sighed as she tucked a piece of her red hair behind an ear. “I’m not sure whether to break out in cackles with you over this or cry.”

  “Cry?”

  She nodded. “You’re married. He’s married. Your husband is…well, fuckin’ fubar, and his wife needs a goddamned heart. It’s…it’s so much.” Her face softened. “Bird, I just don’t see how this can end well.”

  That’s when I got a tad angry and frowning, hissed, “Of course it can’t end well, J! I know this! I wasn’t looking for anything from this guy except a little understanding! That’s all! I mean, Jesus H.! It’s not like I went looking for someone to make out with! But he was there and he’s hot and funny and cool and so nice to me! But you know what? None of that matters! When Beck’s wife gets her heart, we’re done! When Mason dies, that’s it! You don’t think I know this?”

  “Whoa,” Jaden mumbled.

  “What?” I snapped, tears burning the backs of my eyes. I dug for a tissue in my purse.

  She leaned across the table and took my trembling hand in hers. “Honey. Look at me.” I pulled the tissue out and looked up at the ceiling, blinking several times as I wiped under my eyes. I finally glanced back at her. “That’s a lot for one person to deal with, Bird. I’m here for you. Always. You know that, right?”

  I nodded but was still angry at myself for allowing what happened last night to occur. Beck and I had no business going there.

  And I had no business wanting him like I had. That was the worst part of it all.

  She squeezed my hand then letting it go, sat back. “And if this is a distraction from all the shit you’re dealing with, well, then it’s okay. But if you think you could fall for him, well, I just don’t want to see you get your heart broken all over again.”

  I huffed out a humorless laugh. “My heart? You think after all Mason’s done that I even still have a heart?” The sad look on her face made me roll my eyes. “J, I’m kidding. I get what you’re saying. But…I’m gonna call Beck tonight and tell him we can’t see each other anymore.”

  “No. Don’t,” she advised.

  “First you’re telling me it can’t end well. Now you’re telling me not to end our friendship.” I threw the tissue back in my purse exasperatedly. “Make up your mind.”

  “I wish I were psychic,” she muttered. She took a drink before continuing. “Just follow your…”

  “Heart,” I finished for her, yet again rolling my eyes. “Look. As far as I’m concerned, I didn’t do anything that wrong. My marriage is over.” I shrugged. “I’m only staying married because Mase asked me to. Plus, I don’t wanna look like a dick if I divorced him when he’s…dying.” I stopped and blew out a breath. “And you know Beck’s going through the same thing. His wife cheated on him too and he’s also contemplating divorce.” I paused at the ridiculousness of it all. God. in a more subdued tone, I stated, “We’ll figure it out. I mean, if it works, yay.” I held my hand up like I was shaking a pom pom. “If not, then it wasn’t meant to be.” I now looked at her through narrowed eyes. “And who says anything’ll happen again anyway? We’d been drinking, our inhibitions were down, that’s all.”

  Jaden nodded, going along with my false bravado and ignoring my lying ass, bless her, and that was the end of that.

  We hugged outside the deli after we’d finished eating and she whispered, “Love you, B.”

  “Love you too, J,” I whispered back. I knew she cared, knew she was scared for me, knew she was just as overwhelmed with things as I was. I also knew she’d be there for me no matter what, just as I’d do the same for her. And that’s why we’d been best friends for a decade.

  “Call me!” she hollered as she got into a cab.

  I waved as I got into my own taxi heading to Mom and Dad’s to give them the latest news. Nothing about Beck, of course. That was none of their business. But as I’d told Jaden at lunch, for all intents and purposes, I was a single woman again. Yeah, yeah. All the legal mumbo jumbo aside, I considered myself a divorcee, soon to be widow and wasn’t that just fabulous.

  I waited until just after eleven that night to text Beck. That way, we could say our apologies, possibly our goodbyes and I was hoping the late hour would keep me from calling someone to whine if our friendship ended. Or maybe he’d be asleep or out and couldn’t answer back. At the least, if it went bad, I’d have less time to cry myself to sleep. Any of those worked for me. As I lay in bed, I took a deep breath and texted him.

  Text Message—Sat, Oct 22, 11:14 p.m.

  Me: Hey

  Text Message—Sat, Oct 22, 11:14 p.m.

  Beck: You home?

  Text Message—Sat, Oct 22, 11:14 p.m.

  Me: Yes

  My phone rang almost immediately.

  Upon my answering, he declared, “Birdie, I’m sorry about last night. I didn’t mean for that to happen.”

  Just what I’d been ready to hear. What I hadn’t been prepared for was how what he’d said reminded me of Mason’s telling me he didn’t mean to sleep with Maci. And he didn’t mean to get her pregnant. And I was sick of it all.

  Also, it made me feel like I was some siren who’d enchanted Beck into coming back and making out with me. I know, I know. That was my problem. I’d taken enough psychology classes to know I was projecting my guilt of initiating things back at him.

  So what do you do when something like this happens? You know, when you’re used to being knocked down over and over?

  You move on.

  “I’m sorry too.”

  There. That should do it.

  “But…”

  “But what?” I asked.

  I heard him sigh. “It didn’t come out right. What I mean is, I might not have meant for it to happen, but…”

  There was that “but” again. I rema
ined quiet, letting him sort his mind and say what he needed to say.

  “I’m glad it did.”

  What?

  “You’re glad…”

  His long silences were letting me know he was uncomfortable. Well, this wasn’t a cake walk for me either. But even just having him on the phone like this, with all our awkwardness of the topic, made me calmer.

  Which made me realize something: He was becoming important to me.

  Crap.

  I should’ve hung up and walked away. Should’ve told him good luck, that I wished all the best for him and his wife, but I didn’t. No. Instead I remained on the line waiting to hear what he had to say.

  “This is gonna sound strange, Birdie. So just hear me out, okay?” he asked.

  “Okay.”

  I heard him shifting around and wondered if he was in bed too. But when I heard ice clinking I pictured him swirling a glass of whiskey—he’d told me last night whiskey was his favorite—in his hand and figured he wasn’t.

  He cleared his throat before speaking. “I know we’ve only known each other, what, not even a month? But in the few weeks I’ve known you, you’ve become someone important to me.”

  Huh. Exactly the way I felt.

  “You’ve become important to me too, Beck,” I confessed warily.

  I heard his deep chuckle. “Good. Well, now that we’ve gotten that out of the way, what’d you do today?”

  I let out a relieved chuckle and started telling him about Jaden’s showing and afterward he’d told me about a pickup basketball game he’d played with some friends.

  We’d made it through what could’ve been a disastrous encounter and went on to talk for three hours about everything, about nothing.

  And I loved every minute of it.

  Chapter 20—Beck

  After texting Birdie and getting no response, I’d gone to the hospital Saturday morning—more out of guilt over what’d happened with Birdie than anything—where Sonya and I had finally talked.

  And I’d found out things about her I never wanted to hear. I also found out I didn’t know a whole hell of a lot about the woman I married.