Discovering Us (True Love Trilogy) Read online

  When I was sure my legs were no longer rubbery and could hold me up, I turned to face him and after kissing him long and hard, I did the same for him, first washing the smudge of grease off his face then lathered up his hair. After that, I explored every stunning part of him with my hands as I spread the body wash over his broad shoulders and down his biceps, reaching around to glide them over his back and his tight butt then around to his hard chest and over his rippled abs. His body was magnificent. I rinsed the suds off his body then I did something I’d wanted to do to him for a long time. Running my hands slowly down his chest and abs, I knelt in front of him and licked the tip of his length, looking up at him and smiling when I saw the surprised look on his face. I languorously licked the underside of his shaft before taking him fully into my mouth, which made him throw his head back as he let out an, “Oh, fuck.” Oh, I liked this. I felt so powerful in that moment.

  Moving my mouth up and down his hard length, I cupped him with my hand, squeezing gently as I gauged his reaction to my every move, wanting him to feel as good as he’d made me feel earlier.

  “Jesus, El, you’ve got to stop, baby,” he said through gritted teeth before he bent to pull me up then smashed his mouth to mine. He turned us to where the shower was at his back and pressed me against the wall continuing to kiss me before he said against my lips, “You too sore for any more, babe?” He pulled back to look at me, his blue eyes that deep navy that I knew meant he was way turned on.

  “No,” I gasped out. Yeah, I was a little sore, but I wasn’t going to stop this for anything. I grabbed him by the hair at the back of his neck and pulled him to me for another wet kiss.

  “Wanted you for so fucking long,” he ground out then grabbed my leg and hitched it over his hip, positioning himself at my entrance before driving up inside me so smoothly it made us both cry out. “Feels so goddamned good,” he murmured into my neck before he pulled his hips back almost leaving me empty then rolled them forward and filling me completely.

  “Jag,” I hissed, already feeling the burn inside as I grasped his shoulders while he kept surging back and forward, filling me over and over again.

  “Let it go, El. Love how you feel around me when you come.”

  He dipped his head and took my nipple in his mouth, sucking hard, which made all kinds of things happen to my body as another long moan escaped me. He moved to my other breast, doing the same and I couldn’t take it any more as I felt my core clench around him, then the buildup burst inside me, and I screamed out as my climax overtook me.

  “That’s it, give it to me,” Jag drawled as he continued pumping inside me, one hand clasped around my thigh on his hip, the other at the curve of my butt anchoring me as he drove inside.

  God. How could we not have been doing this all those years? I was gonna have a word with him later about withholding this from me, I thought as I kissed his shoulder, loving how he felt in my arms. I could tell he was getting closer as his thrusts shortened and his grips on my ass and thigh got tighter.

  “Gonna come, babe,” his husky voice breathed against my ear, as he plunged inside me harder, faster.

  I pulled back to watch him because it’d been spectacular before, and I damn sure wasn’t disappointed this time either. He thrust up inside me deep, burying himself to the root as he seemed to stop breathing, the veins in his neck popping out, his head snapping back as he came with a loud groan. Wow. So damned sexy. He rested his cheek against the top of my head, hugging me tight. We stood like that for several seconds before he kissed the top of my head and turned me so the water sprayed on me so I could clean myself up then did the same to himself.

  We ordered Chinese because we were both starving and after eating, we hit the bed. It was only eight in the evening, but I knew Jag had to be tired from driving all night.

  “Love you, El,” he said sleepily as he ran his hand through my hair.

  “Love you too, Jag,” I whispered back, my hand running circles over his chest as I lay with my head there listening to the strong beat of his heart. When his breathing evened out, I knew he was asleep which left me to lie there thinking, a gazillion thoughts running through my mind. How was I going to survive after he left? I mean, we’d had sex now. And I really loved having sex. And I wanted to have more sex. Jeez. Had I become a total nymphomaniac or what? To clarify, I meant I wanted to have more sex with Jag. Wasn’t like I was gonna go all Slutlapalooza and sleep with anyone else. I’d meant it when I’d once told him that I wanted him to be my first and my only.

  I also found myself going over our wedding plans. Hey, it’s not like every girl doesn’t go there at least once with the guy she loves, right? And Rebecca and I had had our weddings all planned out since we were in sixth grade anyway, so it wasn’t like this was a stretch. As I lay there, I pictured my colors of navy and pale yellow, my bouquet of white calla lilies with pale yellow baby roses, and my dress like Cinderella’s wedding dress but with a sweetheart neckline and huge skirt (hm, guess my prom dress hadn’t been too far off the mark). Rebecca, of course, would be my maid of honor wearing her short, navy, chiffon, strapless dress with flirty, full skirt (see? ALL planned out), and Jag would look smoking hot wearing a navy tux with a pale yellow vest and tie as he waited for me to walk down the aisle to him. Now that I was older, I’d probably change the reception to something more normal other than the carnival theme I’d loved when I was twelve when I’d decided we’d have at least twenty of those bouncy, Moon Jump things. Or would I? I snickered at that which made Jag turn in his sleep and kiss the side of my head before he turned over. So sweet.

  With a smile on my face, I finally drifted off to visions of Jag and me riding off in a pumpkin-shaped carriage.

  I was pressed against my wall (thank God Mom hadn’t let me bring my iron bed frame) at the head of my bed, my legs wrapped around Jag’s waist, and he was on his knees, driving up into me hard and deep.

  I’d awakened from the nicest dream of him having his hands all over me only to realize that’s what was really happening. And now here we were. I gasped his name as I felt myself go over the edge, which made him speed up his movements then he joined me.

  He fell back on the bed, pulling me with him to where I sprawled on top of him, both of us breathing heavily.

  “You’re trying to kill me,” he said on an exhale as he ran a hand down to cup my bottom.

  Well, that wasn’t very nice… even though I had woken him around ten the night before and again just after midnight to have another couple goes at him, and now it was just before six and we’d just had sex again.

  “Hey, you took the lead on this one,” I reminded him, pulling my head up to look down at him.

  He cracked both eyes open just a little and looked at me, his mouth twitching at the sides as he shook his head. “Nympho.”

  I feigned shock. “Me?”

  “Yeah, you,” he said with a chuckle then put a hand on my face as he looked up at me with what seemed to be pure adoration. God, he could look at me like that every day and I wouldn’t complain one bit.

  “Keep looking at me like that and I’ll make you go again,” I threatened with a snort.

  “Oh, you’ll make me, huh?” he said, eyebrow arched as he moved his hand from my face slowly down my back to join his other hand at my butt and squeezed with both hands.

  I dipped my head to lick his throat, running my tongue up the side of his neck and whispered in his ear, “I’ll make you my sex slave.” I nipped his ear lobe with my teeth.

  “Nympho,” he murmured as he turned us to where he was on top and when he did, I felt that he was just about ready for another go.

  “Sex slave,” I repeated on a moan as he leaned down and bit my neck, one of his hands coming between us, moving down so his fingers could work their magic on me.

  Let’s just say we both lived up to our nicknames… and then some.

  “I wish you could stay,” I said with a sniffle.

  “I know, baby. I do too. But I’ve got t
o get back. I’ll call you every hour, okay?”

  It was nine Sunday morning and Jag was going back to school. I hated that stupid school and didn’t care if he knew it. Screw being diplomatic and sweet and supportive. I’d already done that. Now I wanted my boyfriend with me.

  When he grabbed his duffle bag from my room and set it by the front door, I couldn’t help myself as I started crying harder.

  “Babe, it’s gonna be okay,” he said, holding me close and kissing the top of my head.

  “I’m so tired of you being away,” I said through my tears.

  “I am too. But one of these days this’ll be over and we’ll be together.”

  “When?” I asked, pulling back to look up at him, the tears running down my face. “You’ll be going pro and who knows where you’ll end up.” I sucked in a breath. My arms were flailing now when I spoke. And everyone knows it’s not a good thing when a girl’s arms are flailing as she speaks.

  “We’ll make it work, El.”

  “How? You’re there, I’m here. I have at least five more years of school left, so it’s not like I can go with you. And now we’ve had sex and it was really, really, really good, and now I’m gonna miss you even more.” Flail, flail, flail, flail.

  His lips tipped up a bit and he grabbed me by the shoulders to stop all the damned flailing going on. “Babe, it’s gonna be okay. I promise.” He leaned down and touched my lips with his.

  “I don’t know if I can do this anymore,” I spouted unthinkingly.

  Let’s just say that in the future, I needed to be sure to choose my words more wisely when I was upset.

  His body went rigid and I knew I’d said the wrong thing.

  “What’s that supposed to mean?” he bit out, his fingers on my shoulders getting tighter.

  “I-it doesn’t mean anything,” I said quietly, looking down as I chewed on the inside of my cheek.

  “It means a fuckova lot of something, El.” I looked up at him when he shook my shoulders. His eyes were narrowed. And they were navy. Shit. He was really mad. “You’re not having doubts about us, are you?”

  “No, Jag, I’m not having doubts. Forget I even said that because I didn’t mean it.” I sighed.

  He sighed too and let go of my arms then ran his hands over his face and up through his hair.

  God, I was ruining this. All of it. He’d driven thirteen hours to see me (even though it was most likely out of jealousy), we’d had incredible sex numerous times (and thank you, jealousy), I knew he was tired yet he’d given himself to me over and over, and now he had to drive as many hours back. God, I was nothing but a whiny jerk.

  I took his hands in mine, bringing them to my mouth to kiss his knuckles, looking up at him. “I’m sorry, Jag… I love you. We’ll make it work. We have for three years. What’s a few more?” I looked up at him, hopeful.

  I watched as his jaw clenched and unclenched, his eyes on a spot on the wall behind me.

  He shook his my hands from mine and ran one over his face again. “This is tough for me too, El. You think I’m down there just having a good time and playing ball. You don’t think I wanna put my fist through the fucking wall when I see my friends with their girls, knowing I can’t be with you?”

  Oh. I hadn’t thought of it like that before.

  “Oh.”

  “Yeah.” He crossed his arms over his chest. Uh oh. Standard I’m still pissed at you pose.

  Looking into his brilliant blue eyes (that were currently sparking lightning flashes at me right then, eep!), I ran my hands over his muscular biceps then up over his shoulders and locked my fingers at the back of his neck, pulling him down to brush my lips over his. “I’m sorry. Baby, please don’t be mad.”

  “Just can’t say shit like that, El.” He dropped his hands to my hips and put his forehead to mine.

  I bit my bottom lip. “Sorry,” I said looking up guiltily into his eyes.

  “Stop,” he kissed me, “apologizing,” he kissed me again, “now.”

  “Okay. Sorry.”

  He pulled back, his lip curling up on one side. “El.”

  Realizing what I’d done, I huffed out a laugh. “Sorry, sorry!” Crap!

  He shook his head and slid an arm around my waist drawing me to him. “You’re a kook.” Then he leaned down and kissed me, and, lord, it was so hot and wet, his tongue teasing mine, it made my knees buckle. He caught me with his other arm, wrapping it around my shoulder blades, his fingers squeezing right under my armpit, holding me as tight as I think he possibly could. The kiss continued until I went dizzy and when he pulled back and looked down at me, his eyes an even darker navy.

  Wow.

  Both our chests were heaving and I heard him mumble, “Fuck,” just before he put an arm under my bottom and picked me up. I wrapped my legs around his waist, my arms lacing around his neck, and pressed my lips hard to his as he walked us back to my room for another round.

  He left an hour later, but at least we both had huge smiles on our faces.

  Chapter 13

  I was twenty when Jag’s dreams came true.

  Ever been happy but miserable at the same time? Yeah. That was me—a complete walking oxymoron.

  “El! I’m going to The Show!”

  Jag called a week after his junior year season was over. His team hadn’t made the CWS, but he’d informed me that the draft started the first week of June and that he was projected to go pretty high in it. He was now calling from South Carolina where he and his dad had been tying up some loose ends before he came home for the summer. They’d also been waiting to see what pick he’d be then decide if he wanted to forgo his senior year.

  I squealed into the phone. “Jag! That’s great! I told you you’d go!”

  He’d been so worried that he wouldn’t get picked up—even though he’d been considered one of the top drafts in the country—and although I didn’t want him to be drafted to a team that would take him even farther away from me, I was still excited for him.

  “The Dodgers!”

  And my face fell. Los Angeles. Wasn’t that just great. I’d been holding out hope that he’d be a Cub and be right here with me. I’d even take him being a Brewer or Tiger. Or even a Toronto Blue Jay. Hell, at this point, I’d have even settled for him playing for the White Sox. But nope. He’d be about as far away as he could be. Seemed that Fate, that flaming bitch, just had it in for us. I wanted to burst into tears right then and there, but for Jag, I put on a brave front. “Awesome! That’s so cool!” Tears stung the backs of my eyes and my throat had that humongous lump in it that burns and makes it hard to swallow.

  “My dad hired an agent, and he says I have a signing bonus coming. Seven figures, El! I’m a millionaire! I’ll be home in a couple days then I’m taking you out to Everest. Calling them after we hang up to make a reservation.” Wow. Everest was a fancy schmancy restaurant in Chicago and I’d heard it easily cost around $300 for two to eat there. I’d be willing to bet they didn’t have root beer floats.

  I was glad he hadn’t heard the wavering in my voice. His dreams were coming true so no way was I going to rain on his parade. He was now a real, live professional baseball player, which was pretty damned amazing. “I’m so proud of you, Jag. See? I told you it’d be easy,” I said with a forced chuckle.

  He laughed. “Yeah, pretty easy, considering I’ve thrown around ten thousand pitches in my life to get where I am.”

  “Think you got ten thousand more in you?” I teased.

  “I hope. El, this is it. Our ticket to the big time.”

  Our? Okay, now I felt like shit for being upset. He was still including me in everything like he always did. I wished my vision of the future was as positive as his was. I knew I seriously needed to douse the Eau de Bitch that was threatening to waft off me. “I’m so happy for you, Jag.”

  “Us, babe.”

  “Yeah.”

  After hanging up, I called Rebecca who was at work. “Bec,” I choked out.

  “El? You okay?”
she asked.

  “It’s bad, Bec. Can you talk for a minute?”

  I heard her telling our manager that she needed a break then I heard her tennis shoes squeaking on the floor as she walked outside. “Okay, what’s going on?” she asked, concern lacing her voice.

  I instantly burst out crying. “It’s Jag,” I sobbed out.

  “What? Is he okay?”

  “Yes, but he just went pro!” I cried.

  I heard her chuckle. “God, you scared me! Uh, sorry, but I’m not seeing the bad here, El.”

  I sniffed. “He signed with the Dodgers.”

  “And that’s bad why?” she asked still totally clueless.

  “It’s bad because they’re in Los Angeles! Well, he’ll have to play in Albuquerque on their minor league team first, but he’s good, so he’ll probably get called up after one season.”

  “Oh. Oh! Damn, El, I’m sorry,” she consoled. She knew how hard the past three years had been on me with Jag and I being apart and now we were faced with more of the same. Yay.

  “Thanks, Bec,” I said with a snuffle.

  “What are you gonna do?”

  “What can I do?” I asked.

  “Um, go with him?”

  I paused for a beat.

  “El?”

  “Yeah, I just thought I heard you tell me to go with him. Must be a bad connection.”

  She laughed. “You heard me right. Go with him.”

  I’d never even given going with Jag a thought. Hm. That just might work. Unless he didn’t want me with him. And I had to consider what my parents would say. “I don’t know, Bec. I’d wait until his first year’s over anyway because he’ll be so busy,” I told her.